About a year ago I started a vlog series on my new YouTube channel. Like the URL of this website, that channel named after me: Whitney Lauritsen. It’s been my aim to transition away from my avatar Eco-Vegan Gal to simply me. I feel like I’ve outgrown the EVG name and sometimes the words “eco” and “vegan” feel really limiting. Even though they’re at the core of who I am, I’m passionate about so much more than plant-based products and sustainability.

Anyways. Back to my point about the vlog. I recorded the first one on December 31, 2018, almost one year ago. My goal was to record a new vlog every day and string the clips together without much editing effort (because that’s usually what deters me from posting videos). The theme of this series was “No Shame” because I wanted to show myself however I was each day. Even when I wasn’t wearing makeup, hadn’t brushed my hair or was wearing the same clothes as the day before. These are things I’m often ashamed to show on camera, and I wanted to change that and set an example for others to do the same.

The first video was released on January 3rd. I don’t remember why it wasn’t posted on January 1st, which would have made sense due to recording on December 31st. I bet it was due to procrastination out of fear. I was likely afraid to share this new style and wanted to find the best way to launch that channel. This is typical for me.

I made four more videos, edited them, uploaded them to YouTube…and never made them public.

I just remembered why: I had a vision of writing in-depth blog posts on each video and I never finished that side of the project. I went as far as transcribing each

So, I decided to do something brave today.

I made the remaining four videos public on YouTube. Without reviewing them first. Watch them all here:

This series wasn’t supposed to end with a vlog on January 4th. I had a vision of posting every day. So why did I stop?

It wasn’t my usual reason, which is lack of confidence or results. Often times I get discouraged on YouTube when there aren’t as many views, likes or comments as I would like.

In the case of this vlog series, I let my personal life get in the way. My cousin came to visit and then I had a challenging time with the guy I was dating earlier this year. I didn’t feel comfortable filming with my cousin, which is odd because we grew up filming our lives together. And I didn’t want to show my life with my boyfriend because I wanted to keep it private.

So I shut down. Quite literally. I stopped making videos and put the series on hold.

All year I’ve been wanting to revisit the vlog series, or at least make other forms of content for the new YouTube channel. I decided now would be a good time because it’s the last month of 2019. It feels interesting to contrast January with December, especially because so much has changed in my life since there.

I feel vulnerable because there’s a lot in my life I’ve kept private the last few months and it’s hard to hide it in vlogs. I’m not sure how I’ll handle that yet, but I’ll take it day by day.

With no further ado, I present to you the first vlog I’ve done since January: